If you find yourself blaming your partner A LOT
If you find yourself often blaming your partner (or anyone) and/or thinking,
"If they were just ____"
"If they would just ___"
"If they just weren't so ____"
"If they just wouldn't ____ anymore",
It's time to take a deeper look at where you're refusing your own power and not taking responsibility for how you're showing up.
Blaming others is a completely different energy than being aware of how their behavior effects you and then PIVOTING because you are DEVOTED to the solution, not the problem.
How can you tell the difference?
Because when you're devoted to the solution shit CHANGES. You change. You feel empowered, MORE like you, more expansive, more bad ass, even if it's a messy, sticky, ugly process getting there because you're shedding old skin.
When you're not devoted to the solution and instead addicted to the problem then nothing changes. You go round and round running the same hell scripts (my term) over and over, forever the victim in your own narrative while the other person is the villain.
I want to point out if this is you there is NOTHING to be ashamed about.
I fall into this from time to time too. It's ok, we're human.
We've been hurt and more likely than not, the person you're upset with DOES do hurtful things, but they are not the cause for all of your suffering.
No one has that kind of power.