Purge "I am not enough"


I am not enough...I'm feeling this feeling right now as I write this...


My heart and solar plexus feel like they've been tossed on hot coals...


But they're open...


And open means I'm purging this uncomfortable energy...


The only way I'm able to purge it is by observing the "me" that feels this from a space of ultimate and supreme kindness and compassion.


And in order to truly observe it rather than continue to claim it I have to root myself back in a truth...


(Truth for me is what feels light and expansive.)


The truth that I am enough, I've always been enough, and I will always be enough.


That I was born enough and nothing can change that no matter what I say or do or don't say or don't do.


But I can't just intellectually know this truth to fully heal - I have to be willing to acknowledge and hold space for all of the hidden and secret places within myself that I still don't believe that I am enough.


I have to be wise enough to see that my triggers are my unresolved trauma...


That they are actually a gift showing me the places where unprocessed emotions within me still need to be processed.


To heal and reintegrate this part of me I have to see the me that was bullied, controlled, projected onto, rejected, emotionally abused, abandoned, who endured gaslighting by her family...just because it's uncomfortable is no longer an acceptable reason for me not to let her speak and finally truly be heard.


So instead of rejecting her or silencing her because I find her thoughts and feelings inconvenient, I love her fiercely and acknowledge her without judgment...


I let her scream and rage and cry while I hold her close and fall more deeply and madly in love with her.


I let her feel like she is not enough while I simultaneously let her know that she is enough.


I say true, sweet things to her like,


"There's nothing you could ever say or do that would make me love you less."


"I'm here for you."


"I see you."


"I hear you."


"I honor you."


"You were born worthy and you always will be no matter what."


"I love you unconditionally."


"I've got your back no matter what."


"I'll always be here for you."


"I love you."


What I don't do is rush her back into being ok. I give her all the time she needs...


And I continue to breathe and acknowledge.


Breathe and allow.


Breathe and acknowledge.


Breathe and allow.


Sometimes I even hug myself.


Sometimes I put my hands on my body and flow energy to myself.


While I continue to breathe and acknowledge.


Breathe and allow.


Breathe and acknowledge.


Breathe and allow.


And at some point the fire within me dies down and the ashes of my trauma blow away...


All what's left in its place is a gorgeous space and peace and a greater sense of wholeness.


THIS is how I purge "I am not enough."


____________________


If you're with me on this self-healing journey please comment below, "I AM ENOUGH, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ENOUGH AND I'LL ALWAYS BE ENOUGH."


BIG LOVE to you!


Erin <3




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