#1 sign someone is a narcissist
#1 sign someone is a narcissist (or you are one yourself) is always needing to be right and never saying sorry.
...because they feel they never do anything wrong - it's the other person who is to blame (they "deserve" it, they're too sensitive, they took it the wrong way, they're too ____ or not enough ____, they made them do it, that's not what they meant, etc.). . 🤢🤮 . TRIGGER WARNING . . . My abusers made me feel literally INSANE. I'm not exaggerating for shock value or to make a point. I have experienced the hell of thinking I'm losing my mind.
What my body and heart were saying was in direct opposition to what my abusers were gaslighting me with over YEARS of psychological, emotional and spiritual abuse/indoctrination.
And yet I stayed because I loved and trusted them.
They used me for...
Manpower (I quit my job to help them open their dream business and lived off only TIPS)
Control (I idolized them and would do anything for them, including ending friendships and relationships)
Money (they never repaid me when I let them charge over 10k dollars to my credit card in addition to the thousands I also gave them)
Time (I couldn't leave them for too long or they would become angry, so I let things I loved slip away as I devoted more and more time to their agenda)
And yet, even after giving them EVERYTHING it still wasn't enough, so I was constantly taking turns with others in the group (or as I later came to realize, cult) by being sat down in a chair while everyone took turns in a circle telling me how bad and wrong I was, how I was "off the path". They wouldn't stop until I was a pile of apologies, regret and shame.
And if it wasn't me then it was someone else and I knew it was only a matter of time before it was me in that chair again. Oh, and I'd better participate in shaming the person who was being targeted or I would join them or replace them altogether. (Spiritual gaslighting and abuse is a very particular brand of nasty).