What's Right About Losing My Voice?
I've had Laryngitis for a few days now (thank you tiny human for that head cold that turned into no-talky-for-mommy-laryngitis).
On the second day of being sick I COMPLETELY lost my voice. I could whisper if I really had to, but that was it my friends. I felt just like this little dog I knew years ago (Candy) who had her vocal cords removed (it's called a ventriculocordectomy if you're curious) so when she barked it sounded like she'd been smoking a pack of cigarettes every day since she was born (somehow sad and hilarious all at the same time).
If this were me a few years ago I would have made the whole being sick thing wrong.
If this were me a few years ago I would have made the whole being sick thing wrong. Especially the part where I missed work because I had no voice (no work = no pay and honestly I was looking forward to seeing my clients; you peeps seriously rock).
But that's not who I am anymore. I'm not nearly as addicted to making me and the things happening in my life wrong. I get that the things in my life aren't happening to me so much as they're happening for me.
I get that the things in my life aren't happening to me so much as they're happening for me.
So I immediately started asking questions, "What's right about laryngitis? If my body is brilliant, what brilliance is it trying to show me now? What's the gift?"
Then it hit me...I've been SO afraid for SO long of speaking out into the world on a big platform (small intimate groups or one-on-one was no problem, but anything larger scared the bejesus outta me). This fear stopped me from speaking up A LOT and acting on many of my ideas...so my brilliant, brilliant body wanted to show me what it would be like to have no voice. At all. Like even a little bit. Sometimes the fastest way to value something is to lose it.
Sometimes the fastest way to value something is to lose it.
By taking away the option to speak I value it now more than ever. The fear I've been holding on to is dissolving like honey in hot tea (which I've been drinking a TON of by the way).