Judging? Do this...
This blog post is a piggy back off of my last blog post, "Care about how you feel". I asked you to comment if you were interested in learning fast and easy tools to go from a "bad" feeling to a "good" feeling.
The first lovely being to comment chose judgement (thanks Brittany ;).
(cue dramatic music ;) Dun dun DUN
Let's break break down judgement first and foremost before we talk about stepping out of it.
What is judgement?
How do YOU define it? (Comment below and let me know!)
Judgement is when we make our awareness of something (or someone) good, bad, right or wrong.
Judgement is when we make our awareness of something (or someone) good, bad, right or wrong.
It's a very quick, but limiting way of viewing the world.
The thing to notice about judgement is it's entirely subjective. There are no absolutes, yet judgement makes us believe there are.
> What can be defined as good for one person is bad for another person.
> What's right for one person is wrong for another person.
When we're judging ourselves or other people we get stuck because judgement is a stopping energy. It puts us into resistance and prevents us from moving forward.
The good news is judgement is just an awareness and capacity gone awry.
So what do we do when find ourselves stuck in judgement?
Step 1. Notice you're judging.
This might be a no-brainer, but it's still vital.
> You'll know if you're stuck in a negative judgement because your body will feel tense and you'll experience unpleasant emotions like anger, fear, blame, resentment, shame, etc.
> You might find yourself trying to defend your point of view and justifying to yourself and others why YOU are in the right.
> In other words, you'll be in some kind of resistance.
Welcome to judgement land baby! Where everything sucks and there's no end in sight!
;p
Step 2. Don't make it wrong
Realize judgement will always, always, ALWAYS stop YOU. It's never going to create the life you desire, so the REAL first step is to simply STOP making the thing or person you're judging wrong (even if that person is you).
It's not right or wrong...
Or good or bad...
It just is.
Can you perceive the space this creates immediately?
No choice you've ever made is wrong.
No choice you've ever made is right.
No choice "they've" ever made is wrong.
No choice "they've" ever made is right.
It's just a choice.
It's information.
Information you can now use to learn from and create your life the way you would like it to be.
Step 3. Acknowledge what works for you
Now you can take a look at this new information and make a choice about it.
Notice what works for you and what doesn't work for you. (Psssttt...gotta say it again...notice it without making it wrong.)
I'll give you an example...
Someone at work walks into the room clearly angry. My defenses instantly go up and I judge my co-worker for being in an aggressive mood. I notice my body just tensed up and I'm mad at them for being mad! (Cute choice ;)
Instead of gathering lots of "proof" to justify to myself why I'm right and why my co-worker is wrong, I completely step out of resistance by acknowledging they're not wrong to feel angry. Everyone has a right to feel how they feel and my internal peace doesn't have to be disturbed.
Everyone has a right to feel how they feel and my internal peace doesn't have to be disturbed.
With that thought I notice my body relaxes, though I still take note of the effect that aggressive energy is having on the office...everyone is tense and upset now and the co-worker who set off the "anger bomb" isn't having a good time either. ;p
I know I made the right choice for me since I get to remain the most lovely version of me...relaxed and calm. I'm just an observer, not a reactor.
YAY!!!
In fact, I now know more than ever what I don't want so that automatically helps me understand what I do want.
I quietly thank my co-worker for showing me exactly who they are (in this moment) and I can feel how amazing it is to be free of anger and more dedicated than ever to choosing a kinder way.
Voila!
What questions do you have about this?
:)
P.S. Doubt is next...stay tuned my friends...
