I am Not An Energy Healer, I am Me (and You are You ;)
Labels can be restrictive, even the "good" ones, the desirable ones, the sought after ones. It's easy to get a label and then inadvertently cut your own arm off (you'd think you'd notice ;) to make sure you fit into the box or stay small enough to live there for a long time, even your whole life.
Labels have the ability to convey useful information, but they also can come chock full of filler expectations and judgments (kinda like all the sugar in gummy vitamins).
As a Reiki Master Practitioner and Teacher this became abundantly clear to me over time. Sometimes when we start to outgrow the limitations of a label we can get a little push back. For me, I was told that by incorporating other energetic modalities I was "diluting" the Reiki practice. Here I was, skipping down a merry little path, following the energy and *BAM*, suck on that Ms. Ryan! I was a little dazed and confused, wondering what I was doing that could trigger this kind of judgment.
Has something like this ever happened to you? Has someone ever stopped you dead in your tracks by judging you and your actions as wrong? Nah, not on planet Earth, right?! Ha!
Looking back it's simple and clear to me now. People believe adhering to labels will keep them (and others) safe. A label sets up a certain set of expectations, dictating acceptable and unacceptable behavior to ensure smooth integration. And while labels can create healthy boundaries, they can also slowly take the air out of the room if we're not paying attention. We don't always realize or recognize the impact of these kinds of expectations and judgments until we take a closer look. My example above wasn't insidious, it was obvious! So what about the slower moving, more sneaky energies people throw at us over time? You can always tell when you're cutting off a piece of yourself to fit in the box when you feel restricted, like there are acceptable and unacceptable things to talk about, acceptable and unacceptable aspects of your personality to show, acceptable and unacceptable ways to act, acceptable and unacceptable ways to look, and on and on it goes. You will never feel good enough, strong enough, funny enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, capable enough, and on and on it goes. This, my friend, is the result of all the expectations and judgments you've been living in. We've been living in.
I am not an energy healer; I am Erin. You are not whatever you decided you are or others decided you are; you are you, an infinite being, whatever that ends up looking like (even if it changes a million times in a million different ways).
So what the heck does that mean? How can things change and show up in your life on a day-to-day basis? That means not hiding anymore. That means when you go about your day you bring ALL of you with; the good, the bad, the joy, the sadness, the silly, the serious. For me this means when I teach or do a session I bring ALL of me and nothing gets left at the door (except my judgment which isn't really me anyway). It means I engage my own knowing, my own joy, my own laughter, my own experiences. It means when someone asks me a question I'm not going to answer with what's "appropriate", or "expected", I'm going to answer from my awareness, ALL OF IT!
...So I'm a Reiki Master who swears and uses words like "dude". I'm a Reiki Master that admits when I'm afraid or I don't know (or I do know). I'm a Reiki Master that giggles during sessions or sometimes uses words like "orgasmic" to describe the energy. I'm a geeky Reiki Master who plays Dungeon & Dragons and couldn't be happier doin' it (5th ed. is my jam). I'm also the kind of Reiki Master that draws in visions (apparently) of David Bowie dressed to the nines sayin', "We're all stars baby" with a grin and a wink. That's a true story btw, it happened spontaneously during a Reiki session. (Can I just say that was a brief, but powerful experience.) This is just the teeniest tiniest fraction of a fraction of what and who I am, but man does it feel good when I stretch on out and let it all hang out there.
So let it all hang out there. Allow yourself to be vulnerable! Stretch out like a cat on a warm summer day! Stop hiding your amazing, quirky self! You are not any label, you are you!
